Strippers need money too!!

In this wack ass economy everything has gone up in price. Simple necesities like gas and groceries have gone up so we all are trying to save money. But what about the strippers? They need money to feed their babies and buy themselves some new clear heels. I think instead of cash that could potentially be wasted on uneeded booze and drugs what about giving coupons and gift cards??? Shit a Buy One Get One Free dinner coupon to the local Mexican restaurant is the same as giving them a $10. Coupons can fit just as well into a G string. You can also give them those unused gift cards from Christmas that you can never decide what to buy with. I’d go in with a whole Entertainment book and the Money Clip envelope and make it rain on them bitches! If you want to be less tacky but still know your money will go to good use just buy Wawa gift cards. Shit you can buy gas, food, tampons, condom EVERYTHING at Wawa! You still for sure get to take a stripper home with a Wawa gift card!

Genius idea!

I always come up with genius ideas so I’m making a new category. After splashing myself with my own urine and not trying to look down seeming homo while pissing I’ve come up with a few improvements to the water conserving urinal. First problem I have to address is the splash back. It is not advised to use a urinal if you been holding it in for a long ass time, because your pee will splash back at you. It’s really not a good look if you have on khaki pants or grey sweat pants. But if you have on jeans its usually unnoticeable. If this does happen just say that the water pressure from the sink is crazy and you got water on yourself. The hole should be at a 45 degree angle so you can easily point and shoot into the hole intead of trying to point it straight down to avoid splash back. Second issue is trying not to look homo and seem like you’re trying to peek at the other dudes penis when you’re trying to look at your own. You always want to look down to make sure you put your wang back in your pants and avoid a painfull accident of zipping up your pants with your wang partially out.  But you also do not want the guy next to you to think you’re checking his penis out. Best thing is to require dividers for ALL urinals. This way guys can pee with confidence. Also this prevents homos from checking other dudes out and sexual predators from checking out little boys at the urinals. Lastly the space above the urinal about eye level is GREAT advertising space. It’s not like a magazine or commercial where views can quickly flip the page or channel.  When guys pee they have nowhere else to look besides straight ahead and down. And 98% of the time its straight. So if you put some kind of advertising they WILL read it. Or at least put up some pickup lines or tips for getting girls.